Stop Running Faster. Start Rising with Purpose.

Sep 21

She’s the last one to leave the office. Again. She’s also the first one up, packing lunches, answering Slack messages, juggling deadlines and dentist appointments. She’s the go-to at work, the glue at home, and the one who always says yes.

But behind the polished performance is a woman quietly wondering: Is this what leadership looks like? Despite all the effort and hours, she’s not getting ahead. She’s getting buried.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. And you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just playing by rules that reward exhaustion instead of intention. It’s time to rewrite those rules. It’s time to own your agency.

What Is Agency?

Agency is your ability to choose, act, and influence your outcomes. It means shifting from reacting to others’ priorities to designing your own path. When you own your agency, you gain clarity, credibility, and momentum without burning out.

Jasmine’s Story

Take Jasmine (a composite of real coaching clients) , a senior manager and mother of two. She said yes to everything, believing it would earn her credibility. Instead, it left her exhausted and invisible.

Through coaching, she realized she wasn’t lacking talent. She was lacking agency. She began saying no to low-value work, sought sponsorship, blocked time for family, and reframed guilt. Six months later, she was promoted to Director, not by doing more, but by choosing better.

That’s agency: the shift from being pulled in every direction to leading forward with intention.

The Myth of “Harder and Longer”

Many women believe success comes from relentless hustle. But data shows otherwise. According to Women in the Workplace 2024, women continue to face systemic barriers in promotions despite equal ambition. Progress is uneven and often fragile. Jennifer Moss, in Beyond Burned Out, highlights how burnout is not just a personal issue. It is a workplace issue built over time. Hustle does not equal visibility. Exhaustion does not equal influence. Guilt is not a leadership strategy.

What Really Moves the Needle

Owning your agency means:

Visibility: Say yes to high-impact work. Share your wins. Be seen.
Boundaries: Protect your time and energy. Boundaries are essential to sustainability.
Perspective: Ask: What truly matters? Choose what fulfills you, not what appeases others.
Mentorship & Sponsorship: Seek allies who champion you when you’re not in the room.

Why Saying No Matters

Many women hesitate to say “no,” fearing they’ll seem difficult or uncooperative. Meanwhile, male colleagues sometimes sidestep low-value tasks and still get ahead. Saying “no” is not rejection. It is redirection. Clear boundaries signal focus and leadership.

Try this:

Reframe the language: “I’m focused on [strategic priority].”
Use confident statements: “Let’s revisit this after [milestone].”
Audit your yeses: What have you done that didn’t serve your goals? What did it cost you?

When your choices reflect your values, saying no becomes an act of alignment, not defiance.

Action Steps to Start Today

Audit your calendar: Remove what doesn’t serve your goals.
Track your wins: Use them in reviews or to build confidence.
Say no strategically: Every “no” is a “yes” to something more important.
Schedule visibility: Block time for thought leadership, idea sharing, and strategic conversations.
Reframe guilt: When guilt shows up, ask: Is this mine to carry? Often, it’s not.

Ready to Lead Differently?

You don’t need to run faster. You need to run smarter. Owning your agency, protecting your boundaries, and leading with intention is how you build a career and life that reflects your brilliance.

If you’ve been over-functioning, under-recognized, or just exhausted by the gap between your ambition and what feels possible, you’re not alone. These are skills we can build together so you can lead with clarity, confidence, and zero guilt.